From my Colonel .......................................... ;-)

Only read this if you want to simultaneously laugh and shake your head at
the stupidity of some people!!! AND THEY GET ELECTED.

*Ever wonder WHY the Government is in the shape that it's in today?
A Washington, DC, airport ticket agent offers some examples of why our
country is in trouble: *

*01. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that
her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)
* (After having been smashed up against the outside wall of a smaller
plane, I can relate.

*02. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Cape
town. I started to Explain the length of the flight and the passport
information, then she interrupted me with, 'I'm not trying to make you
look stupid, but Cape town is in Massachusetts.' Without trying to make her
look stupid, I calmly explained, 'Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape town
is in Africa.' Her response: click! *

*03. A senior Vermont congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He
said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not
possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't
lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!' (OMG) *

*04. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, 'Is it possible to
see England from Canada?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'But they look so close
on the map.' (OMG, again!)*

*05. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent
a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a
1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he
said, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive
between gates to save time.' (Aghhhh) *

*06. An Illinois congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how
it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m. and got to
Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of
Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I
told her the
plane went fast, and she bought that. *

*07. A New York lawmaker called and asked, 'Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?' I
said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the
airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight.
I think that's very rude!' After putting her on hold for a minute while I
looked into it (I was laughing), I came back and explained that the city
code for Fresno, CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was
just putting a destination tag on her luggage. *

*08. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, 'Would it be cheaper to fly
to California, and then take the train to Hawaii?'*

*09. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked,
'How do I know which plane to get on?' I asked him what exactly he meant,
to which he replied, 'I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these
planes have numbers on them.'

*10. A lady senator called and said, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola,
Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?' I asked
if she meant fly to Pensacola, Fl. on a commuter plane. She said, 'Yeah,
whatever, smarty!' *

*11. A senior senator called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been
to China many times and never had to have one of those.' I double checked
and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said,
'Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my
American Express!' *

*12. A New Mexico congresswoman called to make reservations, 'I want to
go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.' I was at a loss for words. Finally,
I said, 'Are you sure that's the name of the town?' 'Yes, what flights do
you have?' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, 'I'm
sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't
find a Rhino anywhere.' The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone
knows where it is. Check your map!' So I scoured a map of the state of New
York and finally offered, 'You don't mean Buffalo, do you?' The reply?
'Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in! Because all
of our Politicians are MORONS! Both Parties!