Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Birk Economic Recovery Plan

From a friend - wouldn't THIS be a hoot?!? ;-)

I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up….

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in his or her pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family? Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.

Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads!

Put away money for college – it’ll be there!

Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.

Buy a new car – create jobs.

Invest in the market – capital drives growth.

Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves.

Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else.

Remember, this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it…instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( “vote buy” ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG – liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.

Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.”

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party? How do you spell Economic Boom?

I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh…I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Kindest personal regards,

T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic
PS: Feel free to pass this along to your pals as it’s either good for a laugh or a tear or a very sobering thought on how to best use $85 Billion!!



dvdkmmy said...

Something is wrong with the math. I believe $85 Billion divided by 200 million (people) is only $425 - not $425,000

AL said...

Dear T. J. Birkenmeier;

your economic recovery plan sounds great except your algebra is a little off :)
i regret to inform you that $ 85 billion (AIG bailout) divided to 200 Million (us adult population based on your estimate) will give each person $425 and not $425,000

so each person will get only 425 us dollars.

i am wondering how many people got this e-mail and thought that your idea is great. but i am sorry to burst the bubble. :)

so after paying taxes on that, you will have $300 left, which is half of what the government gave already as a stimulus check.

Diamond Mair said...

dvdkmmmy & al, y'all are correct - personally, I believe we should stop ALL the damn bailouts - let's see, $700,000,000,000.00 {mortgage bailout} + $25,000,000,000.00 {automakers bailout} + $85,000,000,000.00 {AIG bailout} = $810,000,000,000.00 divided by 200,000,000 = $4025.00/citizen over 18 ..............................

SpeakerTweaker said...

Still, I thought it was a great post. I loved it the minute I got to "housing crisis solved."