From the "Get your chuckles where you can" files ....................................

like most everyone who utilizes this marvel of technology {ie, the 'Net} I receive unsolicited eMails regarding 'mystery shopping' @ Western Union/someone's dying & wants me to receive their money/etc.

The latest was a mystery shop at a Western Union outlet; a "check" in the amount of USD $2,680.00 was FedEx'd to me from Gaffney, SC; took it to a local branch of the bank it was presumptively drawn on, & told'em, if it's legit, I want to cash it, if not, I was turning it over to their fraud/security/investigation department. The branch manager, an absolutely lovely lady, did some research - the "check" had the account holder as a lady in south Texas, who is a REAL PERSON, who has a REAL ACCOUNT with this bank, which numbers were being used. {I was to "keep" $250.00 as my pay, the rest, less WU charges, was to be wired to South Africa.}

Soooo, to string the criminals along, I checked with our nearest Western Union facility {local grocery store}, and asked what the characters/sequence of a WU transfer are; I then made up, out of whole cloth, an MTC number, eMailed it to my "contact". Of course, being bogus, his 'cohort' in South Africa was twiddling his thumbs waiting for the transfer. So, my contact started the phone campaign, with a number showing a landline from Stockton, CA. Last Saturday, the Progeny answered my phone, told him I wasn't available - he tried to go all pseudo-ninja on her, because my phone wasn't on me - she told HIM to cool his jets. ;-)

He eMailed me instructions on the use of cellphones; I responded that I DID NOT require lessons on the use of MY cellphone - my child required it's use, and I was making NO APOLOGIES. He responded grovelingly, & chilled for a bit, other than eMails telling me to scan the receipt from WU.

Thursday, I get FOUR calls; checking the numbers, the calls are originating in South Africa. I answered the 3rd & 4th times - silence the 3rd time, the 4th, he speaks - I identified myself as a federal law type, told him that Diamond Mair was under arrest for attempting to negotiate HIS fraudulent check, and that "we" were tracking him as he & I spoke. He hung up before I could mention to keep looking over his shoulder, that the buzzing sound he heard would be a UAV following him. {Hopefully, he's still defecating large pieces of building materials.} ;-)

I got a little concerned afterward, because I'm NOT any kind of law enforcement type, so I called a local field office, to find out how much trouble I might be in {I mean, I was lying to a criminal on the telephone} - all they said was don't do that, call another federal law agency & let them know about this scam, go forth & sin no more. I called the other agency, told them the whole deal, they said I handled it correctly, except for the part about claiming to be an LEO.

My reasoning for doing this is to take up the time of these products of lower intestinal tracts, since I KNOW they are scamming, so they don't have time to target others. Also, it infuriates that they were stealing from someone who had NO IDEA her bank account had been compromised - I just couldn't let them DO that.

As I told a neighbor, nowadays, one HAS to find one's jollies wherever one can ............................. ;-)






.