From the "Get your chuckles where you can" files ....................................

like most everyone who utilizes this marvel of technology {ie, the 'Net} I receive unsolicited eMails regarding 'mystery shopping' @ Western Union/someone's dying & wants me to receive their money/etc.

The latest was a mystery shop at a Western Union outlet; a "check" in the amount of USD $2,680.00 was FedEx'd to me from Gaffney, SC; took it to a local branch of the bank it was presumptively drawn on, & told'em, if it's legit, I want to cash it, if not, I was turning it over to their fraud/security/investigation department. The branch manager, an absolutely lovely lady, did some research - the "check" had the account holder as a lady in south Texas, who is a REAL PERSON, who has a REAL ACCOUNT with this bank, which numbers were being used. {I was to "keep" $250.00 as my pay, the rest, less WU charges, was to be wired to South Africa.}

Soooo, to string the criminals along, I checked with our nearest Western Union facility {local grocery store}, and asked what the characters/sequence of a WU transfer are; I then made up, out of whole cloth, an MTC number, eMailed it to my "contact". Of course, being bogus, his 'cohort' in South Africa was twiddling his thumbs waiting for the transfer. So, my contact started the phone campaign, with a number showing a landline from Stockton, CA. Last Saturday, the Progeny answered my phone, told him I wasn't available - he tried to go all pseudo-ninja on her, because my phone wasn't on me - she told HIM to cool his jets. ;-)

He eMailed me instructions on the use of cellphones; I responded that I DID NOT require lessons on the use of MY cellphone - my child required it's use, and I was making NO APOLOGIES. He responded grovelingly, & chilled for a bit, other than eMails telling me to scan the receipt from WU.

Thursday, I get FOUR calls; checking the numbers, the calls are originating in South Africa. I answered the 3rd & 4th times - silence the 3rd time, the 4th, he speaks - I identified myself as a federal law type, told him that Diamond Mair was under arrest for attempting to negotiate HIS fraudulent check, and that "we" were tracking him as he & I spoke. He hung up before I could mention to keep looking over his shoulder, that the buzzing sound he heard would be a UAV following him. {Hopefully, he's still defecating large pieces of building materials.} ;-)

I got a little concerned afterward, because I'm NOT any kind of law enforcement type, so I called a local field office, to find out how much trouble I might be in {I mean, I was lying to a criminal on the telephone} - all they said was don't do that, call another federal law agency & let them know about this scam, go forth & sin no more. I called the other agency, told them the whole deal, they said I handled it correctly, except for the part about claiming to be an LEO.

My reasoning for doing this is to take up the time of these products of lower intestinal tracts, since I KNOW they are scamming, so they don't have time to target others. Also, it infuriates that they were stealing from someone who had NO IDEA her bank account had been compromised - I just couldn't let them DO that.

As I told a neighbor, nowadays, one HAS to find one's jollies wherever one can ............................. ;-)






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FINALLY seeing the light at the end of the tunnel ....................................

I had gone to the doctor on 25 March; just regular visit. I mentioned the FodGuy's reticence, due to 'come in for visit with doc, come BACK for NPO bloodwork, come BACK AGAIN for results' - doc had streamlined procedures, so it was ONE visit NPO, then results phoned to patient. So, I made FG an appointment for the following Tuesday {29 March}. Fortunately, I needed NPO bloodwork too, so I accompanied him.

While I'm waiting, and Waiting, and WAITING for him, the nurse finally calls me back to his exam room, telling me my options were to take him to the ER IMMEDIATELY, or they were going to call an ambulance - his heart rate was hovering ~ 185 beats/minute {we've known of his intermittent atrial fibrillation for years}; blood pressure was great throughout this whole evolution. So, we hie ourselves off to the ER, where he's kept for ~ 8 hours, trying to medicinally stabilize his heart rate. Finally, they moved him to a high level CCU bed. He was there for a couple of days, then transferred to a step-down unit, where he remained for several days. THEN he was moved to a lower telemetry unit. The cardiac surgeon {arrogant A$$} scheduled him for a cardiac cath with possible stent placement for last Monday {4 April}, at 0700; OK, I spent Sunday night there, we head on down to the cath lab, doc calls, he's "stuck in traffic", resched for 1200 - OK, we troop back up to his room, at 1130, nurse comes in, cardio has "clinical time", resched for 1600 - the FodGuy says NO {he's been NPO since the night before}, do it tomorrow, so I get him some chicken & waffles from IHOP {they grilled the chicken for me ;-) }.

Tuesday comes, doc is there, cath is done, no stent needed. SIGH!! So he's discharged the following day, with lifestyle changes the order of the day. He's been REALLY good about going with non-alcoholic beer, is using his electronic cigarette, is still making faces when I mention chicken, but is eating better, is on decaf coffee, and caffeine-free diet Coke.

So, how has everyone else been doing? ;-)